In many years as a defense lawyer, I’ve seen some stupid mistakes made by criminals.  Like all of us they screw up.  Unlike most of us, they also commit crimes.  Here are some of them from real life:

1.  A burglar named Bob broke into a suburban house through the sliding door on the patio.  Dressed in black, like he’d seen on TV, Bob didn’t waste time.  He went right for the valuables in the bedroom.  He scored big and felt successful.  On his way out to the patio he saw a laptop computer pen on the kitchen table.  Bob stopped, keyed in his Facebook page, and announced what he was doing.  Then he ran out the door—forgetting to log out of Facebook.  When the police got there, they found Bob’s open Facebook page—and they found him!

2.  Another mistake made by criminals included Sergei.  He and his wife were having big problems.  In fact, he wanted to kill her—which he did.  He faced the problem all murderers have: how do you get rid of a dead body?

Sergei had a brilliant idea.  He dragged his wife into the bathtub and sawed her up into dozens of pieces.  Then he took the pieces to the kitchen where he stuffed them one by one down the garbage disposal.  It was working great until the disposal became clogged and stopped working.  After that, it was easy for the police to find the remaining evidence.

3.  Here’s a really stupid mistake made by criminals.  Arvid wanted to rob a store at the Mall of America.  Without wearing a disguise, he entered the mall.  Arvid carried a large plastic garbage bag and filled it with stolen jewelry from a store.  Somehow, he managed to get out of the mall past security.  When the police arrived they found Aarvid with the garbage bag.  He was standing outside waiting for his get-away vehicle—the city bus.

4.  Joe was drunk at a local restaurant.  The bouncer told him to leave.  Joe did, but he carried a concealed handgun.  He pulled it out and shot the bouncer.  Four shots killed the father of four children.  Joe panicked and decided to jump into the Mississippi River to escape.  While in the water, he dropped the gun to hide the evidence.  Unfortunately, Joe couldn’t swim.  He had to be rescued and was arrested.  What happened to the gun?  The next day, the city lowered the river in order to dredge a channel.  Which exposed the gun with Joe’s fingerprints all over it.  This stupid mistake made by a criminal was used to convict Joe easily.